Monday, November 15, 2010

The Journey

Sometimes the journey takes up more than one meaning, and the same journey means differently to different people. For some, it’s a journey to their hometown, where their mothers await them with wet eyes, for others, it’s a beginning of a new era of separation. Some carry the excitement of going back to where they belong, and for some, it’s travelling farther and farther, until you can look back.
And then there are others, who just travel for the sake of traveling, and these people are called ‘wanderers’, ‘adventurers’, ‘banjaras’ or what our airlines nickname as ‘frequent fliers’ or what corporates call ‘Consultants’:P The people who get disconnected from everything, slowly and steadily, and become a part of nowhere – the mid-oceans, the train-track, the national highways dust.
While travelling, one goes through a couple of feelings, each one coming at different point of journey and at different intensities. Longer the journey, the more desperate it makes you to reach your destination and the more variety and intensity you experience. As I go back chasing my inner self, trying to attain Maslow’s highest level of motivation, leaving all the four lower levels behind me, challenging his theory, hoping someday I will have one of my own. This level- the highest level is called, self-actualization. To attain it, one needs a lot of courage to question your outer self, the self whom you spent 23 years of life building brick by brick, mortar by mortar.
Going back to my hometown – Ludhiana-the city of cheerful Punjabis, city of woolens and cotton, city with markets flooded with wedding suits and saris, city with people busy eating samosas, gulab jamun from the still- popular college road guy, the city with the highest probability of seeing around businessmen flaunting around their Mercedes, the city carrying black smoke in its air with highest concentration in SO2. Cutting long story short – a proud city with proud citizens – and cutting it shorter – a hometown. I will tell you why, because there exists no city, howsoever small it is, where if any resident starts writing will stop in a fewer praise lines. Because most of us feel an amazing connection with our hometowns that make us believe it is the best, and attract us towards itself knowing the fact that its not as big as the metros we live in, it’s not as fast as metros are (metro cities not the trains). Anyways, coming back to self-actualization – attaining your true inner self. Maslow said that one needs four levels as a pre requisite before attaining the highest level. Well, I respectfully disagree- by which I mean – I would like to achieve it without having fulfilled all my physical desires ( as they will never end, hopefully :P ), which are hunger, thirst, sex,etc. :D . Second, without achieving fame, social acceptance, esteem, pride and ofcourse, money. I would like to show how its done. By it- I mean the attainment of topmost level and not the satisfaction of lower ones :P

To Be Contd....

Sunday, November 14, 2010

IS this RanDomNess? I think so

Here is a 3 months old post lying on my desktop, which I completed today only. i think i am in the mOOd today (mood to write :P)
well, this is how it goes ---
Sitting in deepu’s room pretending that I am making presentation of eco project that we have tomorrow morning, I am wondering about what I am missing by being here and not being somewhere else. Not that I have some particular place in mind, but still the thought does matter. One of the places which are always stuck in my mind whenever I want a quick stroll outside the lecture hall or some shitty class or anything that don’t interest me is my former pune apartment(rented ofcourse), the living room to be precise, and more I think about it, the more clear its interiors, designing and color becomes. And I wonder what kind of energy does our memory enhold. You stress it a little and see the unexpected things coming out of it. There exists so many things of our past that we think we don’t remember, but I bet if you give it a sincere shot, you can remember anything you want. On the other hand, what I as an engineer like to believe that everything comes with a finite size and that infinity exists just in mathematics formulae, in real life its approximations that play the odds. Because of which it’s impossible to find integration of esinx in mathematics, but it’s a cake-walk in engineering. Why? Coz as engineers we tend to be more realistic and practical. This is clearly a disadvantage if you pursue an mba in HR right after it. Even though it gives you analytical view, the practical application, broader picture and all that bullshit, we console our self with, or maybe partly it gives us an edge over non-engineering junta. But the thing (read sub topic) is that memory is finite, and we fear it will run out soon. So we don’t cram, we learn. :P :flaunt
What gets me thinking is what if I was not an engineer by breed, and something else. I like to believe it would have been much crappier. What? :O I will tell you why - Because, only the young generation knows how crappy it is, not the older lot. They still have the ‘beta bada ho k engineer banega, naam roshan karega’ attitude.
Now going back to main topic, i.e. why I am here and not somewhere else. Well, I forgot to complete it that day, and happened to open this doc today n saw it’s incomplete. I have this obsession of not leaving anything hanging in between. I always need a closure, good or bad, because that's how u open a new window,start a new chapter, make the next move. Well, u got the idea ! Well you can go with multi-tasking too. But anyways, I don’t remember what I was feeling that day anymore, so thought of writing on digression. Which means I don’t have a title for this one, and I have written whatever is coming to my mind, first things all, honestly?
To me, it’s like writing a book. To start a new chapter, you have to end the previous chapter, and to end a chapter, you need a closure, however big or small. So, this haphazard description of random thoughts popping here and there in my head, searching for a way out, was a closure to this chapter.

P.S. The post is honest... i admit i am a geek, i admit i am confused, n i admit i force closures :). I also admit I was a FRAXer (free rider at XLRI) as far as eco presentation was concerned.


Take care people.
Au Revoir

BTW, faridkot laila laila rocks!!

The BreakUp

The moment he knows that she is going to break up with him; he builds this emotional protection wall around him, hoping it would help him get over her. The fights, the pleading, the tears and all the sorrows won’t penetrate as deep as they would have otherwise. He don’t want to experience the pain, the agony, and all the ‘how could you’s, ‘why would you’s, and as a part of his self-constructed damage control mechanism, ends up giving up so easily on the girl he desired, he craved, he ached for so long. He goes into a state of self-denial, in which he refuses to believe the fact that things can be turned around. He gives up, so easily and so quickly, just because he fears to go through another failure, knowing the fault lies with him, knowing that in spite of being aware of the fault, he will never be able to change himself. So his conscience reminds him that out of his inability to change, he can actually drive the reasoning towards fairness to the other person, by saying that it was not just to her and she deserved someone better. But in the process, he doesn’t realize that whom is he kidding? Himself, because deep down he already knows that by doing so, he is satisfying his own unfitness to change. Her, because no matter on which thing he puts the blame on, she will always blame him and his constant repeating mistakes. People, well, no one cares about the faults, no one cares who the culprit is, and no one gives a damn about the level of goodness left in him with each successive breakup.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Golden Words

To me the things you say
However golden words they may
Put them out in the storm
In a chapel, a graveyard, in whichever form

Come back to the things unsaid
Millions of tears that we shed
Pull me out of the endless pit
Remember the candles that we lit, together

Good or bad. Whatever we had
Flows through me and drives me mad
Wind blows and leaves behind nothing

Monday, April 26, 2010

Fracture!

Its been a long time since i wrote. Frankly, i was not in the mood to write.
first, right 2 days after my last entry, on 19th of march, 2010(want to remember that date so...) i got a fracture in my right foot. I thought it was a sprain, and as expert as i think of myself, started my own cure with ice therapy and crepe bandage. Next day, doctor told me its a fracture, and i went into complete denial. i said that he wanted to make money.LOL. Well, in my defence, fracture was not visible in the x-ray. So i thought to take a second opinion. but hospitals are closed on a sunday. So monday morning i went to aditya birla hospital, and yes! it was a fracture. And I got the plaster! :(
Plaster, the one thing i never experienced. its ironic because, fractures and sprains are from the most experienced things of my life, right from childhood. But thanks to our centuries-old 'desi' therpies, Billa pehalwaan was always able to get it right, without a plaster. He used these herbal oils(read extra smelling ones) and merciless massage wih them, but right after maximum of a week, the bone will be as good as new, unlike plasters, which give u a lifetime obligation.
So there it was on my foot, all white and bulky for 3 weeks. So i took a long leave from office, sat at home@ pune, then went home(ludhiana) then came back pune.

on 9th of april, as frustrated as i was with the white heavy thing on my foot, i went to doc, and he said it will be cut today. It was the best feeling..well, cutting the plaster is way more tedious than putting it on. re4ally, they run a drill with a sharp cutter on ur leg! :scared

After plaster feeling: well, it was funny as i forgot how to walk. no, seriously, i was still walking titled, and exactly how i use 2 walk with plaster on. it took me 3-4 days and a lot of practice to walk straight.

well, now i am almost fully recovered, and started going to gym again. but threadmill, aerobics, and any excercise involving my foot, still seems liek a long term goal.

i think, this shouldnt have happened in the first place, but if it had to now or later, the timing was perfect. as i was as free as ever.


Photobucket


Signing off,
take good care of ur ankles and joints.

au revoir
bon nuit.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

To-do

I am so free today that I am not getting time to watch IPL.
Confused ?!?!
Well, As I am free from last 2 days, the huge to-do list is keeping me busy or what i called free time list.
I am so enjoying every part of it. Which explains the worth of maintaining a self discipline, coz after its done, the enjoyment of doing things which you yourself refrained from, is truly uncanny.
Ok enuff of gyan already,
To-do list includes
- loads of movies kept priortised
- listen to new songs(hip hop,jagjit singh) well i lyk things mixed up
- play (read practise) guitar
- write poems(happy happy poems)
- sleep late, wake up late
- watch IPL
- go out pune n outside pune
- blog
- start a good novel
- do a lot of shopping
- be in touch with all my friends
- sms every1 i know to read my blog
- Lastly, THink happy, be happy, keep others happy :)

okey then, happy singh signing off

au revior
vivant heureux! :) :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

XLRI weekend

Friday: XLRI BM PI
Sunday(Today): XLRI PM&IR GDPI

whataaa weekend!

BM experience was good. Mind it, only the experience was good,cant say 4 interview. I really liked old white haired man. he knew evrything about ludhiana, so i was excited to meet him. And he was excited to see some1 from ludhiana in XLRI PI. Both of the events occur pretty rarely...
PM&IR was half an hour complete stress interview. They laughed at me at my answers, they made pity faces on my mediocre knowledge, and they gave me 'who-d-hell-r-u' looks.

overall, both the interviews made me think if i really want to do an MBA. maybe its cold feet thing..but what if its not :sigh

1 line that made my day: "HR is like an air hostess. If he/she can manage a good SMILE, he/she is a good HR".
well, after hearing, all i was managing was a Good Smile. :P

Have dinner,ppl(if thr are any) n let me eat my cornflakes :(

au revoir

Saturday, February 27, 2010

i know the voices in my head are not real,but they surely have some good ideas (not mine)

Well, these days..i could say that my life is at its 'hecticness' peak(upto now,ofcourse). I always go by what voices in head says, as they never ever tellme to study or do boring things like that. They always had a broader picture in mind :P But now they have changed,or not!

Voices in my head have simple valid points and issues, but catering to all of them seems impossible. simple reason that i am not good at time management(that nt what i vil tell my PI panel,unless they come 2 know after reading this).
1st voice: Plz prepare 4 GDPI of XLRI. Its very imp. to you n plz plz brush up ur acads..this is a short term voice,which will not live long.

2nd voice: Plz learn guitar,its a very spl gift n if u have joined classes, then better practice as much as possible. I want this voice to be a mid term voice, but i am becoming immune to this, n its gonna end soon. :(

3rd voice: Ofcourse, loose some weight. U look horrible. I so want to listen to this 1 ! :sigh

4th voice: Hell with MBA, get married..aye aye..How should I tell her that I so want to, but u know, meri majburi hai..

5th voice: came just now,stop blogging,no one reads it! better do yeilding things.
well, i tell her that m nt good at priortising n really hope, some ppl turn up accidently on my blog n write a comment :despo

Bon Nuit
Au Revoir

Friday, February 19, 2010

:@

       THE world s all lonely and still
my dream seems very deep and shrill

behind bright lights,lies a sea of darkness
behind every smile, lies the face of sadness
if this is the truth then live every moment to the fullest
and throw away all the sorrows, with the smile dats richest

someone seems defeated against time
someone wanders about lost in love
why the threads of love are always bonded in sorrows..
why the flower of happiness blossoms on thorns...
if this is the truth then accept it gracefully
realise that love lives even afer the death

current mood: pissed off!?!?!
well read n ponder !

Friday, February 12, 2010

Punjabi poetry

this one i wrote long back..posting now
just tried my hands on punjabi poetry :)

Mere vichon shabd ne kirde
Menu dhoka de ke ne chirde
Te mai kuch kr v na sakde
Eh khedda da mul
Kade pura na hoya kul
Aap hi khedke har jande

Ghar val mod is dubdi kashti nu
Haje vi der nai hoyi mukan nu
Apni buland awaaz utha k das
Apni kashti nu tu aap kas

Haule haule girna..
Haule haule kirna...
Eh akhan jo menu jandian
Pichhe na mur eho das rhian

Mita dinda hai ehsaas menu
Te rang dinda hai kala menu
Ke bahut gujrian ne tere te
Tu larian bahut hain apne te
Hun sama hai tere jittan da....

Ghar val mod is dubdi kashti nu
Haje vi der nai hoyi mukan nu
Apni buland awaaz utha k das
Tu apni kashti nu aap kas

Haule haule girna..
Haule haule kirna...
Gunguna sang mere
Mai v gau naal tere

P.S. Feel free 2 bug me if u dont understand
Sorry, i was trying 2 b nice...
i was  kidding

current mood(in the poem) : motivated

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Uljhan

Well ! I wrote this a couple of months ago..

ye zindagi huyi hai jaam
ek adhe adhure geet ke samaan
yatan pura krne ke huya hain naakam
na badali jaye panktian purani,naye ke samaan

naya geet shuru karu,socha hai kayi baar
purani dhun peeche chod kuch jodu linen char
naya sochne me ye dil dimag gya haar
kambakht fir purani a ke kr deti hai tez vaar

fir socha karun zindagi ko geet se aazad
kisi aur cheez k peeche padu,banke chingari ya faulad
kachre k dher pe du purane geet ko laad
nayi cheez me kho jau, na rhe purane taranne ki yaad






Thursday, January 28, 2010

Pune or Wht

the citys light, its bright
ppl get running after sunlight
trees,flowers r sad,n lonelys d kite.
stressed evry1,oh! gotta catch a flight
children busy with salsa n wht not,no cricket might
emptiness everywhere..peace out of sight
wasting lyf like this,wana find neverland , right?

silly :P

i see cold breezy cloudless night
a halfmoon n infinte stars in sight
everything seems so clear and bright
i ask in surprise, "how it might"?
"your power is gone,silly", replied the night

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Republic Day

Happy Republic Day!!
Today, the morning went very patriotic, after a long long time.
Infosys organises marathon on republic day and it was thrilling to see how many ppl,along with families have turned up.
First thing first, Our security guards cant look any cuter than today :P, wearing blue,black turbans with red and blue stripes.
The event started with a parade,of infy's security guards. then flag hoisting by, i guess, DC head. And then started the marathon at 9.15 sharp.
It was 3.75 km and over 600 infoscions, their family members and parents (m just repeating the announcer :D ) participated. It was fun filled,enthusiastic,memorable and not the least, very tiring.
After having snacks,sponsored by our very dear Tamanna, I came back and have been sleeping since then.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Brown Couch

My couch,the soft sweet brown couch..
I sit on it,cuddle and it takes away all my ouch..
In life,its cozyness that matters
sometime or later the illusions shatters..

Thursday, January 21, 2010

TiMe mAcHiNe

so many memories are stored..
some i saved n some i throwed..
saved are the ones remembered n adored..

so many are the fantasies
some convert into memories
others remain ecstasies

memories are my time machine
they teleport me into a past scene
where i m still an innocent child,
having a boy-cut n a smile thats mild
pure heart as flowers with dew filled
strong connections with family build
not aware of world,thats clever and wild


memories are my time machine
they teleport me into a past scene
where i m still a growing teen
learning new things n always keen
playing mind games, some are mean
always on cloud no. nine,
it so feels like a fantasy queen


fantasies are my time machine
they teleport me into a future scene
where i am a middle aged lady
balanced everything,going steady
for all the obstacles,i am ready
looks got averaged and fady
have found my neverland already


fantasies are my time machine
they teleport me into a future scene
where i have grown so old
after seeing,my whole life unfold
having wrinkles all over,as i was told
drink tea,as always feeling ice-cold
learned so much from life,it's gist, i enhold

Bon Blogging :)

VOILA !!!

I have been thinking to make a bloggiing account,for like forever..
Yes, I did it..
It feels good... :)

Dats good enuff 4 tonite..

WATCH this space for more....