Sometimes the journey takes up more than one meaning, and the same journey means differently to different people. For some, it’s a journey to their hometown, where their mothers await them with wet eyes, for others, it’s a beginning of a new era of separation. Some carry the excitement of going back to where they belong, and for some, it’s travelling farther and farther, until you can look back.
And then there are others, who just travel for the sake of traveling, and these people are called ‘wanderers’, ‘adventurers’, ‘banjaras’ or what our airlines nickname as ‘frequent fliers’ or what corporates call ‘Consultants’:P The people who get disconnected from everything, slowly and steadily, and become a part of nowhere – the mid-oceans, the train-track, the national highways dust.
While travelling, one goes through a couple of feelings, each one coming at different point of journey and at different intensities. Longer the journey, the more desperate it makes you to reach your destination and the more variety and intensity you experience. As I go back chasing my inner self, trying to attain Maslow’s highest level of motivation, leaving all the four lower levels behind me, challenging his theory, hoping someday I will have one of my own. This level- the highest level is called, self-actualization. To attain it, one needs a lot of courage to question your outer self, the self whom you spent 23 years of life building brick by brick, mortar by mortar.
Going back to my hometown – Ludhiana-the city of cheerful Punjabis, city of woolens and cotton, city with markets flooded with wedding suits and saris, city with people busy eating samosas, gulab jamun from the still- popular college road guy, the city with the highest probability of seeing around businessmen flaunting around their Mercedes, the city carrying black smoke in its air with highest concentration in SO2. Cutting long story short – a proud city with proud citizens – and cutting it shorter – a hometown. I will tell you why, because there exists no city, howsoever small it is, where if any resident starts writing will stop in a fewer praise lines. Because most of us feel an amazing connection with our hometowns that make us believe it is the best, and attract us towards itself knowing the fact that its not as big as the metros we live in, it’s not as fast as metros are (metro cities not the trains). Anyways, coming back to self-actualization – attaining your true inner self. Maslow said that one needs four levels as a pre requisite before attaining the highest level. Well, I respectfully disagree- by which I mean – I would like to achieve it without having fulfilled all my physical desires ( as they will never end, hopefully :P ), which are hunger, thirst, sex,etc. :D . Second, without achieving fame, social acceptance, esteem, pride and ofcourse, money. I would like to show how its done. By it- I mean the attainment of topmost level and not the satisfaction of lower ones :P
To Be Contd....
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
IS this RanDomNess? I think so
Here is a 3 months old post lying on my desktop, which I completed today only. i think i am in the mOOd today (mood to write :P)
well, this is how it goes ---
Sitting in deepu’s room pretending that I am making presentation of eco project that we have tomorrow morning, I am wondering about what I am missing by being here and not being somewhere else. Not that I have some particular place in mind, but still the thought does matter. One of the places which are always stuck in my mind whenever I want a quick stroll outside the lecture hall or some shitty class or anything that don’t interest me is my former pune apartment(rented ofcourse), the living room to be precise, and more I think about it, the more clear its interiors, designing and color becomes. And I wonder what kind of energy does our memory enhold. You stress it a little and see the unexpected things coming out of it. There exists so many things of our past that we think we don’t remember, but I bet if you give it a sincere shot, you can remember anything you want. On the other hand, what I as an engineer like to believe that everything comes with a finite size and that infinity exists just in mathematics formulae, in real life its approximations that play the odds. Because of which it’s impossible to find integration of esinx in mathematics, but it’s a cake-walk in engineering. Why? Coz as engineers we tend to be more realistic and practical. This is clearly a disadvantage if you pursue an mba in HR right after it. Even though it gives you analytical view, the practical application, broader picture and all that bullshit, we console our self with, or maybe partly it gives us an edge over non-engineering junta. But the thing (read sub topic) is that memory is finite, and we fear it will run out soon. So we don’t cram, we learn. :P :flaunt
What gets me thinking is what if I was not an engineer by breed, and something else. I like to believe it would have been much crappier. What? :O I will tell you why - Because, only the young generation knows how crappy it is, not the older lot. They still have the ‘beta bada ho k engineer banega, naam roshan karega’ attitude.
Now going back to main topic, i.e. why I am here and not somewhere else. Well, I forgot to complete it that day, and happened to open this doc today n saw it’s incomplete. I have this obsession of not leaving anything hanging in between. I always need a closure, good or bad, because that's how u open a new window,start a new chapter, make the next move. Well, u got the idea ! Well you can go with multi-tasking too. But anyways, I don’t remember what I was feeling that day anymore, so thought of writing on digression. Which means I don’t have a title for this one, and I have written whatever is coming to my mind, first things all, honestly?
To me, it’s like writing a book. To start a new chapter, you have to end the previous chapter, and to end a chapter, you need a closure, however big or small. So, this haphazard description of random thoughts popping here and there in my head, searching for a way out, was a closure to this chapter.
P.S. The post is honest... i admit i am a geek, i admit i am confused, n i admit i force closures :). I also admit I was a FRAXer (free rider at XLRI) as far as eco presentation was concerned.
Take care people.
Au Revoir
BTW, faridkot laila laila rocks!!
well, this is how it goes ---
Sitting in deepu’s room pretending that I am making presentation of eco project that we have tomorrow morning, I am wondering about what I am missing by being here and not being somewhere else. Not that I have some particular place in mind, but still the thought does matter. One of the places which are always stuck in my mind whenever I want a quick stroll outside the lecture hall or some shitty class or anything that don’t interest me is my former pune apartment(rented ofcourse), the living room to be precise, and more I think about it, the more clear its interiors, designing and color becomes. And I wonder what kind of energy does our memory enhold. You stress it a little and see the unexpected things coming out of it. There exists so many things of our past that we think we don’t remember, but I bet if you give it a sincere shot, you can remember anything you want. On the other hand, what I as an engineer like to believe that everything comes with a finite size and that infinity exists just in mathematics formulae, in real life its approximations that play the odds. Because of which it’s impossible to find integration of esinx in mathematics, but it’s a cake-walk in engineering. Why? Coz as engineers we tend to be more realistic and practical. This is clearly a disadvantage if you pursue an mba in HR right after it. Even though it gives you analytical view, the practical application, broader picture and all that bullshit, we console our self with, or maybe partly it gives us an edge over non-engineering junta. But the thing (read sub topic) is that memory is finite, and we fear it will run out soon. So we don’t cram, we learn. :P :flaunt
What gets me thinking is what if I was not an engineer by breed, and something else. I like to believe it would have been much crappier. What? :O I will tell you why - Because, only the young generation knows how crappy it is, not the older lot. They still have the ‘beta bada ho k engineer banega, naam roshan karega’ attitude.
Now going back to main topic, i.e. why I am here and not somewhere else. Well, I forgot to complete it that day, and happened to open this doc today n saw it’s incomplete. I have this obsession of not leaving anything hanging in between. I always need a closure, good or bad, because that's how u open a new window,start a new chapter, make the next move. Well, u got the idea ! Well you can go with multi-tasking too. But anyways, I don’t remember what I was feeling that day anymore, so thought of writing on digression. Which means I don’t have a title for this one, and I have written whatever is coming to my mind, first things all, honestly?
To me, it’s like writing a book. To start a new chapter, you have to end the previous chapter, and to end a chapter, you need a closure, however big or small. So, this haphazard description of random thoughts popping here and there in my head, searching for a way out, was a closure to this chapter.
P.S. The post is honest... i admit i am a geek, i admit i am confused, n i admit i force closures :). I also admit I was a FRAXer (free rider at XLRI) as far as eco presentation was concerned.
Take care people.
Au Revoir
BTW, faridkot laila laila rocks!!
The BreakUp
The moment he knows that she is going to break up with him; he builds this emotional protection wall around him, hoping it would help him get over her. The fights, the pleading, the tears and all the sorrows won’t penetrate as deep as they would have otherwise. He don’t want to experience the pain, the agony, and all the ‘how could you’s, ‘why would you’s, and as a part of his self-constructed damage control mechanism, ends up giving up so easily on the girl he desired, he craved, he ached for so long. He goes into a state of self-denial, in which he refuses to believe the fact that things can be turned around. He gives up, so easily and so quickly, just because he fears to go through another failure, knowing the fault lies with him, knowing that in spite of being aware of the fault, he will never be able to change himself. So his conscience reminds him that out of his inability to change, he can actually drive the reasoning towards fairness to the other person, by saying that it was not just to her and she deserved someone better. But in the process, he doesn’t realize that whom is he kidding? Himself, because deep down he already knows that by doing so, he is satisfying his own unfitness to change. Her, because no matter on which thing he puts the blame on, she will always blame him and his constant repeating mistakes. People, well, no one cares about the faults, no one cares who the culprit is, and no one gives a damn about the level of goodness left in him with each successive breakup.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)